My current desktop

I really like my desktop, just put this wallpaper yesterday, so wanted to share. So serene and calm….

Enjoi!

Fedora Core 5: Not worth an upgrade.

Finally after about 10 hours of struggle, I configured my Fedora Core 5 to work properly. I didn't have many demands though, just

• A decent photo viewing program … Well, it does provide me with F-Spot, but I am used to Digikam. So, first thing I did was to reinstall 'digikam' on the system along with a couple of dependencies.
• An audio (mp3) player… Does this look too much? Well, with Fedora systems, playing MP3 is a real problem, not because its bad but because it has chosen to not provide any support for MP3 due to patent issues. My obvious choice is Amarok player. First I needed to enable MP3 support in KDE for which I recompiled 'kdemultimedia' enabling 'mp3lib'. Due to some dependency or the other and due to power cuts, it took me 9 recompiles to finish the job.
• To install Amarok player was a real problem. Again the reason being patents. Amarok didn't support aRts and xine by default. Finally after installing xine and dependencies, I installed a total of 38 packages to install my Amarok player after recompiling it to enable xine (aRts still doesn't work!).
• I tried compiling Kaffeine player, but to no avail. It gave some wierd errors. Finally I installed the old 'kaffeine 0.7' for Fedora Core 4. It failed to load giving an error 'kaffeine_part.desktop' not found. I hope I can fix it too. Meanwhile am using the Xine player which apparently is the 'actual back-end' of Kaffeine player.

The rest of the system looks okay. My settings are AS IS, including the keyboard shortcuts I had set. Thanks to the great architecture of Linux and the power to separate user data and the operating system. It even remembered my 'firefox bookmarks'. There is nothing so great in Fedora Core 5. Its just as if I am using Core 4. I haven't seen Mono and Beagle working on my PC, maybe they will change my view.

Rest of me is fine. I couldn't meet Jawahar sir today also. Hopefully will meet him tomorrow. The reception of TV.IIIT.AC.IN TV tuner card has resumed. I will make it functional by tomorrow morning. Ashish, Ravi and me were **studying** in the Library reading room from 12:00 AM to 2 AM, a world record. We did some BC too, when Bhanu arrived, but rest of it was serious and productive. Though the Linear programming exam is on 12th, though its a PCO for us, we still burned our precious time and energy in working for it. I wonder if there can be a 'TA' post for the course.  We people have decided to jog every morning at 7 AM, lets see if I get up tomorrow. Have a good night!

Ciao. 

Core 5, TV Server, New Sysadmin, Love and more!

If you have a look at IIIT::Blogroll, most posts to me look like some kind of news stories at Slashdot. Well, maybe thats the whole idea, but that ways I should be thrown out of the blogger community, because I generally post for myself. Whatever comes to my mind, the moods, the ideas, the new things I see, the thoughts, I just jot them down. This blog is like my treasure, a log of my experiences in life (since April 2005 to be precise). Maybe I don't deserve any readers, but then, being subscribed to 'IIIT::Blogroll', I get some 'acceidental clicks'. I hope not many *actually* read the posts.

Fedora Core 5

Anyways, coming back to senses, I installed Fedora Core 5 yesterday. Finally, with a lot of waiting, I took this decision just because there was nothing better to do and some people said *it is faster and better*. Not much changed because I was already using KDE 3.5.1. It downgraded my gaim to 1.5.0 from 2.0beta3. There are no audio/video players and a lot of other goodies missing. F-Spot sucks, at least for me! I use digikam and thats good enough. I didn't find any beagle or something, except a little 'beagle indexer' in my Firefox. I don't know where all that stuff is. It seems it installed Mono on my system, don't know whats that for. And my net speed 'sucks'. No other word for that. I have been struggling with a meagre 1.2 KB/sec download speeds to get those huge RPM files. Maybe its actually down, or maybe its Fedora Core 5. All in all, my opinion is, if you have fully functional FC2, FC3 or FC4, there is no such *BIG* reason to get FC5.

TV.IIIT.AC.IN

Jawahar sir had asked me to meet him just after 4th. Maybe for me that means 6th, because I haven't met him yet. Not that its a very big issue, but still. The TV Server is not working for several reasons. One of them is failure of hardware, another is lack of motivation to repair it and third is lack of interest by people (mostly due to exams). The TV Tuner card's video reception has crashed, and hopefully is not a problem with the card. We'll be getting back in business soon. I guess people will need the server after exams get over. Hopefully I'll make it up and running before I leave the college for vacations.

Going home

Scheduled departure. 13 April 2006, Thursday, 9:25 PM. This is what my railways ticket says. Well, its not a 'departure', its basically a meeting. I'll be meeting my family, my parents, my friends and Tanu. Its Priyanka di's wedding too, this 20th. Hope it will be great fun, seeing her in a new roop of a married woman. My holidays are not very long though, I'll be returning on 1, 2 or 3 May. I've to work on my BTP henceforth.

Internships

I haven't got any internships for this summer. I applied in Kritikal, at least asked Manish to forward my CV. I guess soon there will be some communication. I hesitate to talk to Jawahar sir regarding internships. It is the only thing I hesitate to talk about. I mean, most people are afraid to say anything to him, but I generally am calm and composed in his presence. And so, most people (especially Freaky and Nikhil) push me forward for any negotiations with him. But now I feel he is a part of our life, no external thing to negotiate with. Some of the seniors might differ in opinion though. He has also assured us to forward our CV to some of the companies. Lets hope I get an internship too, though its not the end of the world for me if I don't get any.

Sysadmin

My first *odd* experience at the server room was last sunday. I desperately wanted to submit my MoMM assignment and had just 10 mins to print it. I went to Ranta sir and he told me to take a print in the server room, which was apparently open. As I was standing in the server room, waiting for my turn for the PC, the *new sysadmin* came and told us that *they* (the sysadmins) don't **generally** (as if its been years he has been here) allow printouts on sundays and asked us to leave. He even asked the person just about to click *Print* to stop and leave. We pleaded for some mins but to no avail. I wish there is at least one sysadmin from the students. Its not about me getting sysadminship, anyone could be made one, but at least one savior (I heard torrents also have been disabled, any downloaders having problems?)

Love

Well, actually I wanted to write this post about Love, but then so many other things just took over. I don't really understand what love is. At least didn't used to. Not that I know what it is now, but I am tending to understand. Earlier, I used to link it with *physical appearance*. Even now I do so. But then, this definition of loving someone's looks is a little complicated. You don't choose how your mom looks, but still you love her. You choose how your girlfriend looks and then you love her. Why is there a difference?

I got a forward about some boy loving some girl and the reason being LOVE. Later that girl gets really damaged by some accident and the boy still loves her. Though that really needs a very deep and strong kind of love, I agree to some extent to that, not that I can actually apply it. And why should I do so, nothing will happen to my loved ones yaar!

Now, I have started understanding that love is not just something physical. Its not a bondage, a burden. It not something like choosing the least worse. Its not about getting the same feeling from the other person too. Its unconditional. It doesn't make you worry more. Rather it frees you from all worries and makes you fly. It doesn't demand, rather it understands when you cannot do certain things because of your condition/constraints. Its not about just physical pleasure, its about a sense of belonging to someone, in any way possible. It doesn't let you go in depression, love is a ray of hope, its optimistic and brings a smile on your face whenever you think about it. In short, love is … something that pumps energy in me to survive.

Though my knowledge and understanding of love is very rudimentary and conflicting, this is what I've understood till now. Maybe I am wrong, inaccurate. But thats just my thoughts, anyone is welcome to correct me.

Conclusion

I saw the number of hits to my blog decreasing. I thought maybe dividing the post into smaller headings is a good idea. If anyone reads carefully, most of my posts are framed that way, just that there are no headings. Anyways, have to meet Jawahar sir today, and will look into the hardware for TV server. Have a nice day!

Ciao.

Humility and posers.

This post was written on March 10. I didn't find much 'meaning' in it. But still, posting for the sake of it. Please correct it where ever there are flaws, contradictions and inconsistancies.

We come across enormous amount of textual content every day, news stories, blogs, discussion forums, newsgroups, essays and what not. Generally you notice that everyone tries to be humble, down to earth person. Everyone calls himself (or herself) crazy and stupid. Some of the instances from IIIT::Blogroll are (no offense)…

• Just my'crazy erratic'self, with an ever wandering, rambling soul….composing entirely what my infatuated mind perceives!!
• I am continuously wandering from one place to another, trying to make sense of things and comprehend what my mind allows me to.
• joblessfreak
• My rambling on ideas, thoughts on technology, business and other topics that constantly feed my thinking
• Yet Another Blogger — innocent and incoherent ramblings

Talking about all people in general, how many are really humble as they show they are? The human tendency is to feel happy when we get appreciation from others. Generally people are very much interested in the number of hits to their blog or number of comments on it. The basic motive of 'stats and comments', apart from getting opinion of others, is to feel happy about the number of people that read our thoughts. I don't think there is anything wrong in seeking love and appreciation from others.

Personally, I don't think there is something like a 'purely humble' person. I mean, its good to read about great people in scriptures and all, but in the 21st century, everyone is just someone, with certain 'natural behavior'. Some might be soft spoken, some might be blunt, some might boast a lot, etc, etc. But, we all know 'the internal self' and its nature. Its not wrong to hide it, but then, posing to be a completely different person is also kind of not-right. Say for example there is some person who is a complete pervert from inside, and poses to be a really nice and 'decent' fellow, just to get some girl fall for him. Though that girl might later repent and leave him, but such an act can be termed as close to 'crime'.

Generally, people exposed to the media, or some kind of public platform end up becoming posers. A lot of them just want to show that they are modern and 'with the times'. Say for example, a son getting ashamed of his own father because he is a software professional and his father is not that well-to-do. Other reasons could be that people who are not like the majority. Take for example the Rock lovers. I am one of the few who basically doesn't find any sense in that stuff. But fortunately or unfortunately the majority of people aren't Rock lovers or at least there is a big enough group who is not (in IIIT). If it was some other place, lets say New York or something, just to keep up with the 'rock loving tendency', I would have posed to really really love rock music and actually end up growing some long hair. That ways, posers aren't completely at fault, even the environment forces them to become like that.

Till now, what I have concluded that most posers are those who want to 'look alike' the majority of people in a community. There are others who just want to look different than the rest and end up posing something which they are not. Again, being different from the rest is also a natural human tendency. Everyone wants his own independent and 'different' existance. To make our presence felt, we tend to add some 'different'ness to our profiles which otherwise are very monotonous and boring. Another thing to note is that a poser who wants to look different tries to at least acquire all 'common' attributes, and then be different on some other virtues. For example, a normal Programmer will at least learn the correct syntax and somehow digest the processes of a company, even if its not natural to him or her. Now, just to be different from others, he'd develop a 'custom style' in coding, designing or working. Does constant exposure to 'posing to be someone' change the person internally? Is it not like slowly even a 'posing rock lover' begins to understand those songs, and start liking it too.

Anyways, till now, you would have seen that this post has no connection with 'humility' (at which I began writing it). How is posing related to 'humility'? A person who is really humble will be humble. A person who wants to pose to be humble will also behave that ways. Everyone saying 'am crazy', 'I just ramble', what does it show? Is the current society completely crazy and aimless? Its generally considered cool, friendly to call oneself all that. How many of us are really cool? Most of us are 'boring, selfish, calculative' and we generally 'try to present syntactically and semantically correct facts or thoughts' in our public appearances (just like I am trying to write this post). This simply indicates that a major portion of people in this world are 'posers' (including me). If we were really cool and careless, we wouldn't care about writing all our thoughts in a public thing and making people read it and also comment on it. Why would we want to make a tamasha of our own life? We all want that people understand how pathetic lives we live and feel sympathetic about it.
Is there a way to figure out who is really humble? One of the characteristics could be that a humble person doesn't 'show' his emotions, deeds to people. He remains quiet. He does good to the society and then quiety slips into his own world. A poser on the other hand basically openly informs each and every person he knows about anything he does. And finally 'requires' that every person give a 'opinion' about the whole thing. The huge growth of blogs around the world which just write about people and their work, thoughts, deeds is just an indication of the amount of posers in this world. No, I don't think each and every blogger is a poser, or if you just write about your work, you become one. I just want to say that there is fair enough probability of finding posers among the bloggers.

Okay fine, I give up. Even I am getting confused about the whole thing. Am dumb. Can anyone help please?